We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
