dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
