UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
