Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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