he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
