You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
