(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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