Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
