bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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