Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I could fuck to npr.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm too high and old for this...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
