Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
