i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
and i looked up. we had an audience...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
