Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
