Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
