Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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