In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
