so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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