Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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