Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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