Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize