My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
