What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
