just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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