I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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