I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
