Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
