Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
