just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
