dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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