im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize