We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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