I hate your face
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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