there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
