well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
