They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize