Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't think brook has ever known best
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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