I think im going to throw up on grandma
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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