I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
