And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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