Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
