Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
