These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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