I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
