I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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