Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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