I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
