All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
