her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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