by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
