I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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