I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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