you guys were way drunker than both of me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
