Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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