chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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