I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
