So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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