Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize