I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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