i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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