I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he had hair everywhere except his balls
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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