That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
