He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Fuck appropriateness.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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